Why I started Saint Beluga

I have always struggled with philosophy. In my early days of exploring apologetics, I read and reread Thomas Aquinas' writings and various other philosophical books in an attempt to gain a solid understanding of the metaphysical arguments for God. However, I failed miserably - to this day, I find these arguments incredibly difficult to understand, even though many other religious converts swear by them. When both atheist and religious scholars criticized Richard Dawkins’ assessment of Aquinas’ "five proofs," I had no way of knowing who was right (although I did find other glaring errors in Dawkins' writing, such as equating Catholicism's many titles for the Virgin Mary with polytheism).

Over time, I realized that my complete inability to comprehend philosophy is actually a gift, as it forced me to explore other, perhaps less traveled, paths that ultimately not only satisfied my heart’s desire for the answers I was seeking but also enabled me to connect with others. That is, with people who lack the ability or patience to dissect complex, mind-bending arguments to address the most important questions in life.

My own initial journey to faith involved a blurry mix of reading about the lives of the saints and modern miracles, which provided empirical evidence for the teachings of the Gospels. (Later, I delved into theological writings and received one-on-one instruction in Catholic theology from an 82-year-old Franciscan Sister, which solidified my understanding of the faith). Reading about miracles like the Marian apparitions initially sparked my interest in Catholicism, offering concrete, empirical evidence for the faith; later, reading about the lives of saints such as St. Thérèse of Lisieux emotionally illustrated the beauty of living in radical faithfulness to the Gospel teachings.

At one point, I felt called to write about these miracles - I sensed that despite the abundance of literature on these topics, they lacked conciseness and rigor. For example, various books and articles on Fatima contain long biographies of the visionaries and detailed accounts of the apparitions but lack a rigorous collection of witness testimonies. So, I decided to address this gap and write about these events, hoping to aid others in their search for truth.